Q:About the "they" anon. I, too, am a strict follower of English Grammatical Protocol, and technically it is grammatically incorrect, but there is no genderless, single pronoun in the english language as of now, so "they" is the closest we can get. I shudder to think we live in a world where arbitrary, irrelevant and largely unheard of grammatical rules are valued over the livelihood and well being of other individuals.
Yes, this is exactly right. The rules for grammar are not set in stone by any means; reading old English, for instance, is just like reading a completely different language (and, well, it was). Our languages’ rules change based on the needs and desires of the actual people who live in that society, but first they have to be broken.
Hey, I’m a transman and my brother and I began this blog to begin to help other transmen and also transwomen with some beginning transitional issues. We’re looking to begin to donate items to the community as well as begin to accept donations to give away for future surgeries. We will also begin a mentoring group once we get some more exposure. Is it possible that you could help us get the exposure we need in order to take off? Whether the answer is yes or no, thank you for your time -the boys
Going to University in a few days time means I can finally be who I am; Lilly.
Q:Can you make the gender neutral name master list that you said you were going to? I'm searching for a name, I just want to find something that clicks already. It's holding me back
Ras posted a bunch of gender-neutral names in a read more in a previous ask. There’s also a lot more here! I hope you find one that fits, anon!
[EDIT] marc i think this was that same anon omg. i thought marc had made a couple name lists before but i guess he hadn’t, either that or i didn’t see them. i know people’ve asked about name advice before… but i can try to assemble as many names as i can possibly find but it might take longer thanks to my mood drop today… sorry if it takes too long or anything. i suggest asking your friends about names they could imagine you having, if you can comfortably do that, or looking at family trees for names if you haven’t.
Q:I've been a cisgendered female since birth. I've always prefered hanging out with the boys, and I've never liked stuff "for girls" (dresses/skirts, dolls, makeup) (I started to take a liking to it recently though). I often fantasize about being a boy and having male genitalia. I thought I might identify as male, but I'm comfortable with my female body as it is, and it doesn't bother me identifying as female either. I don't want to switch, I just want to make people aware (cont. in next ask >>>)
(»>) that I don’t mind whatever they refer to me as (if you greet me with “Hey girl!” or “Hey boy!”, it doesn’t matter to me, I’d still happily answer “Sup!”). I believe the most appropiate identity for me would be bigendered/androgynous (?), but I’m scared I might not be accepted by the trans community, since most of them seem to be extreme cases who are stuck/trapped and don’t feel comfortable in their bodies. It’s just “I’m here, I’m both a girl and a boy at the same time”. What should I do?
If you feel the best way to identify yourself is bigender/androgynous, you’ve all the power to do so! You’re the only person who can determine your identity.
If you don’t immediately find the support you need in the trans community, remember that we’re fundamentally a group of individuals with unique experiences that influence our ideas on what “trans” is. Some very much subscribe to the idea of being “trapped,” but others do not for a lot of different reasons, whether they’re political or just plain personal. I’m absolutely certain that you’ll find a sub-group that welcomes you with open arms and camaraderie!
Q:Hey! I run a YouTube collab channel called Out of This Binary! You can find us on YouTube and on Tumblr. We are a bunch of trans/non-binary folx making videos for advice and tips, etc etc. We are just starting out. I was wondering if you'd mind posting our link on your blog to help spread us as a resource?
Q:How do you deal with a transphobic friend? I've told my friend that I was nonbinary a while back, (they didn't take it seriously, saying "but you have genitals, you know" and I recently just found out they are actually transphobic. I've been thinking about not talking to them because I don't like to associate with people like that, too bad everyone around me is like that.
If you want to remain friends with them, you can always say something along the lines of this: “I came out to you as nonbinary a while ago because it was important for me to let you know my identity, and who I am as a person. When you said “you have genitals” to me, it really hurt, and learning that you’re disrespectful to other people like me also made me feel bad. I really would like to stay friends with you, but if you don’t stop disrespecting me and people like me, I am uncomfortable being around you.”
You can really say whatever you want, but I personally recommend stating why you came out to them and why it’s important, what they’re doing that hurts you, what they can do to stop hurting you, and that you don’t want to be around you if they continue to hurt you. Be honest and up front with them—if you still feel uncomfortable around them because of their behavior, they need to know that. If they’re truly your friend, they’ll listen to you, take you seriously, and work to change for the better.
Of course, it’s entirely up to you whether or not you want to continue your friendship with this person. You get to choose your friends, and if you’re not having a good time with a person anymore, it’s OK to leave them for people who can actually support you. It’s also up to you to decide whether or not it’s worth taking the time to educate them on being less transphobic.
Q:only you get to define you own gender! :)
Q:I wish that shit like this wouldn't happen within the community, but thanks for standing up for us, it means a lot. -a very disheartened nb person (who uses "they/them" almost exclusivly)
Unfortunately, the trans community is pretty splintered on certain issues. We need to have a more unified front if we want to get anything done. I hope you feel better soon, anon!
Q:yo singular "they" has been part of English literally since Chaucer, just like "you" was originally plural only and is now both singular and plural. Nobody thought it was ungrammatical until the 19th century or something. People who tear their shirts about how ungrammatical it is not only have their priorities fucked, but also don't have a clue what they're talking about.
Language is something that evolves and changes over time, and there’s always going to be someone who takes issue with it, even if their argument makes no sense (as in that anon’s case). I’m of the opinion that if someone’s happiest and most comfortable being called a certain way, we should always call them by the name/pronouns they say to use. It isn’t difficult and it makes someone feel comfortable, so what’s the big deal?