Q:Can I say something to the last Anon? This is actually how I feel, and I'm a trans* guy. It seems to be a fairly common for dysphoria to go away when you don't think about it and I think it's because during those moments you have nothing to prove that you're not whatever gender you identify as. However, this could be different for other people because there is no one way to be trans*. However, it is also not uncommon to not care about being taken as your sex when you're in early transition.
Q:So, awkward question time. I'm a trans* guy who loves futanari porn. Is this offensive to trans* girls?
Neither of us are trans* women, but I’ve personally read posts by trans* women saying that it is considered fetishistic and that they found it offensive. Some trans* women may disagree, but I can’t recall reading posts by trans* women who enjoyed/supported it. Of course, you can’t control your kinks, but it may be a good idea to keep that in mind.
#nsfw a bit
Q:I have a question, hope you guys can help me. For a few month now I have the feeling that I could be trans, felt that way before when I was younger, but then later it was alright for me to be a girl. Today I don't feel good with this anymore and from time to time I have this strong feeling that I really should be a guy and then again I don't think about it and it feels alright as long as I don't overthink it or get taken as a guy. That I am not sure about does this mean I not trans?
We can’t tell you whether or not you’re trans*, Anon—that’s something for you to personally identify with. However, what we can tell you is that there’s no certain, set way to be transgender. There’s no such thing as “not being trans* enough” or even being “too trans*.” Having mixed feelings doesn’t mean you’re not trans*, too. Anyone who tells you otherwise is incorrect.
Also, know that there are more “options” than just male or female—you can identify with both of those, all genders, no gender, a mix of male and female, or your gender identity can change throughout time. I encourage you to experiment with presentation, names, and pronouns if you can, and see what you’re happiest and most comfortable with! Ultimately, your identity is nobody’s but your own. I wish you well on your personal discovery!
Q:To the Ohio anon (and others needing help), GLMA is an online resource to help queer people find healthcare providers that fit their needs. Go to the top bar, hover over "Resources", "For Patients", then click on "Find a provider". From there, search the provider directory. Good luck!
Q:HELP. I'm ftm. And I want to buy a packer. But I can't get one online and I'm going to get my friend to buy one from a sex shop. But would a sex shop sell packers?? HELP!!
To my knowledge, a good number of sex stores sell packers. I think you’d be more likely to find cheaper ones, like the Packy or Mr. Limpy, that don’t have options for STP-ing or penetrative sex. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Anon!
Q:Would anyone mind guiding me to a good gender therapist in the Cincinnati, Ohio area? Thanks.
Anyone out there with suggestions for Anon?
Also, for what it’s worth, a therapist doesn’t have to be a “gender” therapist to give you a proper referral letter; any licensed therapist will do. I’m pretty sure that therapists will put “gender” in their advertisements and etc. just to show that they have experience working with trans* people.
Q:I forgot to mention that I did manage to get my endocrinologist to write a letter for me saying that I've completed all the necessary surgeries (whereas I haven't and I don't plan on bottom surgery). I live in Washington state and I'm worried about possible road blocks (when my body is put into question for whatever reason (e.g being hospitalised or those quick x-rays at the airport before you board)) considering the fact that WA isn't completely solid about SRS as a requirement.
If your endocrinologist wrote a letter for you, and if that’s what Washington requires to change your birth certificate, that should suffice.
As for the road blocks you mentioned—such as hospital trips or x-rays at the airport—that’s something I can’t answer with certainty. A lot of trans* people have brought up the idea of disclosure if you’ve been in an accident and need help from the paramedics, since there have been cases where trans* people have been seriously injured or even died because paramedics simply wouldn’t properly assist a trans* person. But, on the other hand, if a trans* person binds, the paramedics would need to know that so it could be removed to prevent suffocation. Ultimately, it depends on the individual paramedic.
Generally, I don’t believe that whether or not you’ve had bottom surgery will be a big issue, except for checkups/problems specifically relating to your genitals (e.g. pap smears, prostate exams, etc.).
I do know that binders set off the scans at the airport, or at least have a tendency to do that. Since I’ve never personally experienced it, I’m not sure how the TSA approaches the issue. One very butch woman I’ve met told me that she set off the scanner with her binder, and a male TSA agent was sent to do a patdown. (To my understanding they try and send agents of the same perceived gender of the person being scanned to do patdowns.) Nothing really arose from that. I have also heard of someone being questioned in a private room because they were using a packer, and it set off the scanner.
I guess my point is that the issues that you bring up vary from individual to individual, situation to situation, and so on, so it’s impossible to give you a for-sure answer. I’m sorry; I wish I could be more helpful about this!
Q:Without surgically transitioning, do you think it would be a good idea to claim that you've made the full transition just to change the information on your birth certificate? I'm 11 months on T, I've legally changed my name and I'm considering changing the name and sex on my birth certificate so I can get an accurate passport. If you can't answer this, could you at least direct me to someone who can? Thank you.
This sort of thing varies from state to state in the US, and I’m completely unsure of how other countries operate. In general, before the sex marker on your birth certificate can be changed, you need to present some sort of proof—usually a doctor’s note—that you’ve undergone “adequate medical treatment.” The definition of “adequate medical treatment” is pretty fuzzy, so it’s possible that you could get a doctor to sign a note for you, depending on the state you live in and whether or not you have a sympathetic doctor.
Considering that you need a doctor’s note in many states, I don’t think it would be possible to claim that you’ve made the “full” transition. I wouldn’t recommend forging a document or trying to claim that you’ve had surgery (if a surgical procedure is necessary for your state to change your BC marker), since it could potentially lead to serious legal problems.
That’s just for the birth certificate side of things; I’m not sure if the process is different for a passport.
Our resources page has a list of some blogs that may be helpful, some of which are run by folks who have changed their BC marker and so on, so you could also ask them for advice. Another thing I would recommend is looking for “transgender birth certificate change” and the state or country you live in.
Q:I think glameater is saying not that they decided not to take hormones, but rather that they decided to not transition at all but instead remain living as the sex they were assigned at birth. If that's what they mean then it's a much more tricky issue, since in my mind it kinda would seem a little like internalised transphobia.
Hm, that definitely is a possible interpretation. And you’re right, it does become trickier then due to the existence of internalized transphobia and so on. Generally, it’s my opinion that (with regards to transitioning) people should do what makes them feel happier and comfortable, though sometimes not transitioning might make a person feel “better” because of society telling us that transitioning is a bad thing.
I’ll leave it open until Glameater either corrects me or elaborates.