Resources for The people south of the border (America)
I have stumbled upon some excellent resources for any youth in need just text listen to 741-741 or if you want a list of resources you can find them here http://www.crisistextline.org/get-help-now/
Thank you, I’m sure this will be useful for some of our followers!
Q:I saw an ooold post about someone saying they used to identify as FtM, but due to people telling them they're "not trans enough" they stopped. I get why people get mad about it, but honestly - if you are able to stop identifying as FtM (or MtF) and feel comfortable with your body and whatnot, then it might be not worth putting yourself in a risk to change sex. We encouter a lot of difficulties worse than someone telling you you're "not trans enough" after all, yet we don't change our minds.
I don’t think it’s a “becoming comfortable with your body/designated sex and gender identity” thing, but rather that it’s a “these people clearly aren’t accepting me and are being malicious to me so maybe it’s just better to go back into the closet and deny what’s going on here because I feel that I have no support even in the trans community” thing.
I’m not sure what happened with the specific person you’re talking about, and I can’t speak for them, but I believe that the majority of the time it’s what I described above.
You’re right, we do face bigger problems than the policing of our identities. That doesn’t change the fact that this IS a problem in the community, and that it should stop completely.
Q:@dmrichards: If someone asks me surgery questions, I get pretty flustered, too--but I find a nice short answer that usually shuts people up and gets them to think is "Gimme one good reason why I should even answer that." Thanks for the *toon.
This is a great response to the infamous surgery question, thank you!
Maybe I’ll get better at it as time goes on, but for the moment it just puts me into too much of a state of shock to answer any other way. Thankfully it doesn’t happen often at least!
Q:You said its cool to go through a bunch of names but i feel like I'll never be able to stick to one! D:
I think a significant portion of trans folks have trouble picking a name for themselves—personally, I’ve known a few who’ve gone through dozens. One thing I’d recommend is, while testing out a name, use it at any chance you get. If you’re writing or drawing something, sign it whichever name you’re using and see if that feels right to you. Having a group of supportive friends use “testing” names in conversations can be really helpful. I also recommend using some online resources for testing out your name. Pronounsstuff is a tumblr where you submit your name and pronouns, and one of the mods will write a short blurb about you using that name/pronoun set.
There’s also the Pronoun Dressing Room, where you put in the name/pronouns of your choice, and it will replace every name/pronoun in a passage you choose with the ones you typed in. Another nice thing about this site is that it mention potential triggers in each of the examples—for instance, in the passage from A Study in Scarlet, the site notes that war is mentioned in the passage.
Both sites have “pronoun” in their title, but they’re definitely useful for trying out names, too. Don’t worry about not finding a name quickly—you have a lot of time to make your decision and figure out exactly which one fits you the best.
Q:I came out as FtM not too long ago and they flipped out..I'm going to be in and out of hospitals/counseling, they're forcing me to wear girly clothes, grow my hair out, and I don't know what to do...
I’m sorry for the situation you’re in, Anon. My guess is that you’re not in a position where you can move out, whether for your age or not having enough money, so at this point you might consider speaking to them and explaining to them where you’re coming from. If you’re in any danger, do you have supportive friends you could probably go to? I’m terribly sorry for not being more helpful but I honestly don’t know what help to give you. Best of luck and I sincerely hope that things get better for you.